expert online series

Psychologist Michelle Gersten, Ph.D., on Psychotherapy for Children of Divorce

From: Divorce_Central_Moderator
At: 168.100.204.58

Welcome, this is Pam Weintraub, your Divorce Central moderator. We are pleased to welcome, tonight, psychologist Michelle Gersten, who has worked intensively with children in cases of divorce.
MsgId: jcafe(22)
Date: Wed Mar 19 21:59:55 EST 1997
From: Dr_Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.205.178


MsgId: jcafe(23)
Date: Wed Mar 19 21:59:57 EST 1997
From: Trapper
At: 168.121.224.176

Are you supposed to check in or anything?
MsgId: jcafe(24)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:00:17 EST 1997
From: Divorce_Central_Moderator
At: 168.100.204.58

Tonight our topic is discerning when and if your children need psychotherapy.
MsgId: jcafe(25)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:00:31 EST 1997
From: Divorce_Central_Moderator
At: 168.100.204.58

Hi Trapper, you ARE checked in.
MsgId: jcafe(26)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:00:59 EST 1997
From: Dr_Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.205.178

Hello everyone. I'm very glad to be here tonight speaking on an important topic.
MsgId: jcafe(27)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:02:56 EST 1997
From: Dr_Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.205.178

How do you know when your child needs therapy after a divorce. This topic is important because many families have benefitted from bringing their children to therapists during and after the divorce process.
MsgId: jcafe(28)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:03:24 EST 1997
From: Trapper
At: 168.121.224.176

Is it just us three right now? Regardless, hello. :)
MsgId: jcafe(29)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:03:35 EST 1997
From: Divorce_Central_Moderator
At: 168.100.204.58

Dr. GErsten, first I'd like to ask what sorts of problems we may expect, in our children, as a matter of course, in the event of divorce. What reactions are absolutely normal, and NOT indicative of a need for therapy?
MsgId: jcafe(30)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:03:58 EST 1997
From: Mike
At: 206.80.8.187

Hi Michelle. I am the father of a 6 year old boy, and have been involved in a nasty divorce and custody process for nearly two years now. My son is an extremely bright child.

The custody case has been in trial for several months, and we are just getting ready to present final arguments in the case early next week, after which the judge will render his opinion.

For the past two years, my wife has had temporary custody of our son. She has made a variety of fantastic allegations, including kidnapping, sexual and physical abuse, neglect and so forth. No evidence for any of her claims has ever been offered.

During the evaluation process, the court appointed psychologist determined that my wife had a paranoid personality disorder, and recommended custody for me.

Just recently, his teacher has remarked that my son has been showingly a lack of attention during story time. My wife is now claiming that this is due to the fact that I moved into a new apartment last month, but I think that my son's changed behavior has more to do with my wife's charged feelings over the threat of loosing custody.


MsgId: jcafe(31)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:04:07 EST 1997
From: Dr_Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.205.178

The general rule of thumb that I tell parents who call or come in for a consult is to determine whether your child has changed in any major way since the separation.
MsgId: jcafe(32)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:04:41 EST 1997
From: Divorce_Central_Moderator
At: 168.100.204.58

Trapper, we always have people who just watch --they interview is informative even for those who don't participate. But we certainly hope that you will be an active participant.
MsgId: jcafe(33)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:05:59 EST 1997
From: Mike
At: 206.80.8.187

Just to let you know, my son has been in "therapy" with a child psychologist for almost one year now. I have my doubts about this psychologists qualifications and intentions, but for now I have no choice in the matter...
MsgId: jcafe(34)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:06:01 EST 1997
From: Divorce_Central_Moderator
At: 168.100.204.58

Hi, Mike, glad you could join us. I know that Dr. Gersten will need a few seconds to think about your question.
MsgId: jcafe(35)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:07:07 EST 1997
From: Dr_Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.205.178

Hello, Mike. Unfortunately, I have had to see several cases like yours in which the wife has accused her ex-husband of outrageous acts, such as stalking, sexual abuse, kidnapping, etc.
MsgId: jcafe(36)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:07:38 EST 1997
From: Dr_Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.205.178

And like the court-appointed evaluator, I have recommended that custody go to the father.
MsgId: jcafe(37)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:08:23 EST 1997
From: Dr_Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.205.178

The mother's reaction tend to be extremely emotional, and even a very young child can pick up on her fears and concerns.
MsgId: jcafe(38)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:09:21 EST 1997
From: Dr_Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.205.178

I have never seen a move lead to a dramatic change in behavior if the child was prepared for it and did not have to change schools.
MsgId: jcafe(39)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:09:34 EST 1997
From: Divorce_Central_Moderator
At: 168.100.204.58

Dr. Gersten, I know you're not finished with your reply, but I want to ask that you include three dots ... as follows when you intend to continue.
MsgId: jcafe(40)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:10:27 EST 1997
From: Dr_Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.205.178

On the other hand, it is quite common to see changes such as inattentiveness, overactivity, aggression, shyness, or fearfulness when a mother is tense and experiencing stress.
MsgId: jcafe(41)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:11:04 EST 1997
From: Mike
At: 206.80.8.187

he did not have to change schools.

MsgId: jcafe(42)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:11:42 EST 1997
From: Dr_Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.205.178

It would seem to me that the reason for the change in behavior is less important than becoming aware of how maladaptive the behavior is...
MsgId: jcafe(43)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:12:17 EST 1997
From: Dr_Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.205.178

Mike, did you think the move caused him any disruption?
MsgId: jcafe(44)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:12:32 EST 1997
From: Mike
At: 206.80.8.187

How can I protect my kid from the long-term emotional damage of a divorce like this? I don't expect my wife's allegations ever to stop, whether I get custody or not...
MsgId: jcafe(45)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:13:04 EST 1997
From: Mike
At: 206.80.8.187


MsgId: jcafe(46)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:14:07 EST 1997
From: Dr_Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.205.178

I am currently conducting psychotherapy with several young children who have experienced and are currently experiencing parental conflict due to an extremely difficult divorce such as yours.
MsgId: jcafe(47)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:14:50 EST 1997
From: Mike
At: 206.80.8.187

I don't believe the move was disruptive for him. If anything, our life has become more stable and more fun, as I am now living with a new partner who my son has a great relationship with.
"It would seem to me that the reason for the change in behavior is less important than becoming aware of how
maladaptive the behavior is..." Do you mean that my son needs to be aware that his behavior is related to something else in his life? Is that possible with a 6-year old?
MsgId: jcafe(48)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:15:03 EST 1997
From: Divorce_Central_Moderator
At: 168.100.204.58

Is there anything Mike can do to offset some of this damage? Mike, what does your child's own therapist say (just curious)
MsgId: jcafe(49)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:15:28 EST 1997
From: Dr_Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.205.178

Although I cannot offer any guarantees, I can state firmly that I have seen progress in these children's development despite the parental disputes and have witnessed improvement in parental communication.
MsgId: jcafe(50)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:16:07 EST 1997
From: Trapper
At: 168.121.224.176

I'm wondering about protecting my children from similar emotional damage, but of a more subtle sort. Not the kind of allegations Mike is dealing with (thank God), but a situation with an ex who is very good at being manipulative. She constantly tells the kids that I am going to do (whatever), knowing that I cannot do whatever it is. And then when I have to tell them that I can't do it, I come out as the bad guy. Sometimes these are little things, sometimes big things, but it accumulates. The only way I can think of to counter it is to point out to them this pattern, and I don't want to come across as bad-mouthing their mom (which I have studiously avoided).
MsgId: jcafe(51)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:17:31 EST 1997
From: Dr_Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.205.178

Trapper, I respect your integrity and your ability to not counter-act her claims...
MsgId: jcafe(52)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:17:48 EST 1997
From: Divorce_Central_Moderator
At: 168.100.204.58

Trapper, again, please give Dr. Gersten a few moments to absorb the details of your question
MsgId: jcafe(53)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:18:23 EST 1997
From: Mike
At: 206.80.8.187

Michelle--Improvment due to psychotherapy?
Moderator-- his psychologist is not very bright in my view. I won't do into it right now, but his attitude toward child psychology is "statistical"-- e.g., if the child is six, then he must be at x-level of development. And since my kid is "on time", then he must be okay.
MsgId: jcafe(54)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:19:00 EST 1997
From: Dr_Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.205.178

by maligning her. I think the most sensible approach would be to tell your children that you would like them to only listen to what you say your intentions are, because sometimes "your mother" gets mixed up or confused about your plans. How does that sound?
MsgId: jcafe(55)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:19:15 EST 1997
From: Divorce_Central_Moderator
At: 168.100.204.58

Thanks, Mike, again we'll wait for Dr. Gersten to respond.
MsgId: jcafe(56)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:19:39 EST 1997
From: Trapper
At: 168.121.224.176

I understand about the lag time. :) If it adds any useful information, though, I just found out that my ex is moving to another state for a better job, and the kids are having to deal with that. I can add more about that when you think it appropriate.
MsgId: jcafe(57)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:20:49 EST 1997
From: Divorce_Central_Moderator
At: 168.100.204.58

Trapper, that's too bad --will it be very far from you?
MsgId: jcafe(58)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:21:04 EST 1997
From: Dr_Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.205.178

Mike, that sounds horrendous, as a more child-centered psychologist would adopt a transactional approach to development...
MsgId: jcafe(59)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:22:47 EST 1997
From: Dr_Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.205.178

This is for Mike: A transactional approach to development that looks at the child in his or her context and looks for changes in the interaction between the child and his environmental demands and doesn't take the static approach to development like your child's psychologist.
MsgId: jcafe(60)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:22:55 EST 1997
From: Mike
At: 206.80.8.187

Michelle-- transactional meaning that the parties come together to work it out together?
MsgId: jcafe(61)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:24:25 EST 1997
From: Trapper
At: 168.121.224.176

"because sometimes "your mother" gets mixed up or confused about your plans." Sounds like generally good advice. In fact, I did that just recently about one of those incidents. But I also know that the youngest (5 years old) tends to tell mom I have said something like that, and mom goes ballistic, because, well, she's never wrong. :/ (It's been two years, and she's angrier than ever, because (it seems to me) she continues to blame me for everything and has done nothing to work through her own feelings.) So the problem is also how to give the kids a more balanced view without risking subjecting them to my ex's irrational response.
MsgId: jcafe(62)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:25:59 EST 1997
From: Dr._Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.204.58

Hi, I've been knocked off but know I'm back...
MsgId: jcafe(63)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:26:53 EST 1997
From: Dr._Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.204.58

Although I have not seen your child, Mike, it is hard to imagine how even the most resiliant youngster could not be suffering from the process he is experiencing...
MsgId: jcafe(64)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:27:10 EST 1997
From: Mike
At: 206.80.8.187

I would be curious to know something about you, Dr. Gersten. Where do you practice? Do you have any publications?
MsgId: jcafe(65)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:27:11 EST 1997
From: Trapper
At: 168.121.224.176

Moderator: it will be between five and six hours away. Mixed feelings, because I know she will be making quite a bit more money, and I think the kids will be in a more pleasant environment, and my ex will be far enough away to make it difficult for her to hassle me. :) But I will also miss the kids terribly, and the two oldest constantly ask if they can just come live with me (which my ex would bitterly fight). So...

Dr. Gersten: Let me know if I need to hold off for a few minutes. I don't want to confuse the session. :)

MsgId: jcafe(66)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:27:16 EST 1997
From: Dr._Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.204.58

Have you thought about switching therapists?
MsgId: jcafe(67)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:30:30 EST 1997
From: Dr._Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.204.58

For Trapper: Unfortunately there is no simple answer. What usually happens is that children, particularly as young as five, become very confused about their alliances. Even the best, most fair and sensitive parent cannot undo things that a spouse is doing that are harmful to the child...
MsgId: jcafe(68)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:31:16 EST 1997
From: Mike
At: 206.80.8.187

At this moment, I have no control over which therapist my kid sees. My expense spouse got him as a recommendation from a sex-abuse clinic because he was experienced in court.
MsgId: jcafe(69)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:31:46 EST 1997
From: Dr._Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.204.58

That is why, in these situations, children can benefit from seeing an objective counselor who can help them develop a better picture of the parental situation. Have you considered this?
MsgId: jcafe(70)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:34:03 EST 1997
From: Dr._Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.204.58

Trapper: What visitation agreement do you have now, and how will it change after the move.
MsgId: jcafe(71)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:34:57 EST 1997
From: Dr._Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.204.58

Mike: This a terrible situation, because it sounds as if your child is not receiving optimal treatment and you have no control over it.
MsgId: jcafe(72)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:36:11 EST 1997
From: Mike
At: 206.80.8.187

The court process is very slow. It looks very much like the judge will rule in our favor, but that won't undo the last 2 years.
MsgId: jcafe(73)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:36:19 EST 1997
From: Dr._Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.204.58

BTW, I practice in Manhattan, and I have about 12 publications in scienctific child psychology, child psychiatry, and pediatric journals.
MsgId: jcafe(74)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:36:53 EST 1997
From: Trapper
At: 168.121.224.176

"children can benefit from seeing an objective counselor who can help them develop a better picture of the parental situation." In this case, that seems to be part of the problem. She doesn't want me to take them to the counseling center that a) my insurance will pay for, and b) that proved to be very effective for me. This is partly because when she and I went for marriage counseling there, they told her things she didn't want to hear, and she quit going. She switched therapists herself several times until she found one who would tell her what she wanted to hear (I don't mean he was figuring out what she wanted and giving it to her; just that he came from a similar viewpoint). He is a former fundamentalist preacher, who suggested to her that our marriage might have broken up because I might be a homosexual (for the record, I am not, and that was never in her mind until he suggested it; it was just a "better" explanation than the possibility that she might have somehow contributed to the breakdown of the marriage). This is the same therapist she has taken the kids to.
MsgId: jcafe(75)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:37:49 EST 1997
From: Mike
At: 206.80.8.187

Hey, just in case your interested, you can see a picture of me and my boy on the net: http://www.slip.net/~mpa/
MsgId: jcafe(76)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:39:26 EST 1997
From: Dr._Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.204.58

Trapper and Mike: You might both consider seeking court intervention to have the therapists changed.
MsgId: jcafe(77)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:40:10 EST 1997
From: Dr._Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.204.58

Mike: Will sure look at the pics after 11
MsgId: jcafe(78)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:41:16 EST 1997
From: Trapper
At: 168.121.224.176

"What visitation agreement do you have now, and how will it change after the move." It's supposed to be every other weekend and once a week in the middle of the week. She got the court to prevent me having them overnight on weekends in my own home, though, because of an old state law that prohibits children being in a house with adults of the opposite sex who are not married. (For a number of reasons, my fiance and I aren't getting married yet, and we are living together.) With a five hour drive and me in very poor financial shape (thanks to large child support payments and large legal bills), I will only be able to drive over to see them MAYBE once a month. I can't count on my ex bringing them to see me; a court would make her, but I can't afford to take it to court, and she knows it. :(
MsgId: jcafe(79)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:41:31 EST 1997
From: Dr._Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.204.58

What States do you both live in?
MsgId: jcafe(80)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:43:03 EST 1997
From: Trapper
At: 168.121.224.176

I'm in Tennessee. She will be moving to South Carolina.
MsgId: jcafe(81)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:43:33 EST 1997
From: Mike
At: 206.80.8.187

In in San Francisco-- SF Family COurt...
MsgId: jcafe(82)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:44:11 EST 1997
From: Mike
At: 206.80.8.187

My psychologist is the sitting president of one of the divisons of the american psychological assn.-- humanist psych, I think.
MsgId: jcafe(83)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:45:56 EST 1997
From: Divorce_Central_Moderator
At: 168.100.204.58

Trapper, by the way, you can contact the American Pro Se organization if you want to represent yourself. They'll help you out. The # is 908-753-4516
MsgId: jcafe(84)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:46:58 EST 1997
From: Divorce_Central_Moderator
At: 168.100.204.58

Dr. Gersten, what are some of the more troubling symptoms we should look for in our children to see if they need psychological help?
MsgId: jcafe(85)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:47:22 EST 1997
From: Mike
At: 206.80.8.187

The American Pro Se organization? I'm curious.

MsgId: jcafe(86)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:47:56 EST 1997
From: Dr._Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.205.178

As I mentioned earlier, you look for detectable changes that are not age-appropriate for your child...
MsgId: jcafe(87)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:48:04 EST 1997
From: Divorce_Central_Moderator
At: 168.100.204.58

Pro Se --do it yourself. You are your own lawyer, and the organization will help you move forward.
MsgId: jcafe(88)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:48:09 EST 1997
From: Trapper
At: 168.121.224.176

Thanks for that number! I'll save it. :)
MsgId: jcafe(89)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:48:52 EST 1997
From: Dr._Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.205.178

For example, it is common to see children regress back to behaviors from earlier stages of development. So a child who has already been toilet trained might start having accidents...
MsgId: jcafe(90)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:49:04 EST 1997
From: Mike
At: 206.80.8.187

does the organization have a web site?
MsgId: jcafe(91)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:50:04 EST 1997
From: Divorce_Central_Moderator
At: 168.100.204.58

Yes, they do --don't know the URL off-hand but they're listed everywhere. Do a search on Yahoo.
MsgId: jcafe(92)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:50:15 EST 1997
From: Trapper
At: 168.121.224.176

Dr. Gersten, what are your thoughts on children making their own decisions about their own custody? In Tennessee, a 14-yr-old can make his or her own determination. Would that be wise? On the basis of a younger child's request, should the parents go to court if necessary?
MsgId: jcafe(93)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:50:31 EST 1997
From: Dr._Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.205.178

Or if a school-aged child who had healthy relations with her peers starts withdrawing from social activities with her friends. The two most common diagnoses following a divorce are adjustment disorder and depression...
MsgId: jcafe(94)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:50:53 EST 1997
From: Mike
At: 206.80.8.187

I didn't consider the fact that my kid wet his pajamas the first night he slept in his new room at our new house...
MsgId: jcafe(95)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:51:35 EST 1997
From: Mike
At: 206.80.8.187

...because I figured it was perfectly normal to be disoriented sleeping in a new place for the first time...
MsgId: jcafe(96)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:51:51 EST 1997
From: Dr._Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.205.178

In response to your question about whether you should listen to a young child and go to court, I would make sure that the child isn't saying that just to please you, and perhaps saying the same thing to his mother.
MsgId: jcafe(97)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:53:18 EST 1997
From: Dr._Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.205.178

Mike brought up an excellent point. It isn't only the behavioral change that you look for, but you need to assess the duration and intensity of the novel changes...
MsgId: jcafe(98)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:54:21 EST 1997
From: Dr._Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.205.178

For example, it is common for almost all children following a divorce to show some minor disturbances, such as eating or sleep difficulties, or problems with peers...
MsgId: jcafe(99)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:54:43 EST 1997
From: Divorce_Central_Moderator
At: 168.100.204.58

Dr. Gersten, so many of these issues seem to revolve around terrible communication and animosity between these ex-spouses. Is there any way, in these situations, for things to improve. Can these two co-parents ever hope to come together to do the best for their children? Can therapy help in this regard?
MsgId: jcafe(100)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:54:58 EST 1997
From: Mike
At: 206.80.8.187

meaning that there was a short-term change brought on by the move that caused the behavior in my son?
MsgId: jcafe(101)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:56:08 EST 1997
From: Mike
At: 206.80.8.187

http://www.pro-selaw.org/
MsgId: jcafe(102)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:56:14 EST 1997
From: Dr._Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.205.178

However, if these difficulties do not persist, and ease up after the initial heightened parental conflict subsides, then I would not be concerned and it would not be necessary to take a child to a therapist.
MsgId: jcafe(103)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:56:36 EST 1997
From: Divorce_Central_Moderator
At: 168.100.204.58

Thanks, Mike
MsgId: jcafe(104)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:56:38 EST 1997
From: Trapper
At: 168.121.224.176

"make sure that the child isn't saying that just to please you, and perhaps saying the same thing to his mother." True. The youngest will (understandably) do that. The 14-yr-old seems on the verge of asking (no, I don't think it's wishful thinking :) ). She has asked to come stay with us for the summer, even had a big fight with mom about it. She has been very unhappy at mom's house (mom uses her as a little maid), so some of this has less to do with wanting to be with me than with wanting to get out of a very uncomfortable situation. My 11-yr-old son stays at friends' houses as often as possible (including overnights) and constantly asks when he's going to be able to stay with me, so it's kind of the same situation as my daughter--mainly wanting out of an uncomfortable situation.
MsgId: jcafe(105)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:58:44 EST 1997
From: Mike
At: 206.80.8.187

and another one: http://soho.ios.com/~legalhlp/index.html
MsgId: jcafe(106)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:58:51 EST 1997
From: Divorce_Central_Moderator
At: 168.100.204.58

Just want to let you know that Dr. Gersten will be signing off at eleven, so she will be taking these last few questions only.
MsgId: jcafe(107)
Date: Wed Mar 19 22:59:53 EST 1997
From: Mike
At: 206.80.8.187

You guys should link this program from the FREE web site...
MsgId: jcafe(108)
Date: Wed Mar 19 23:00:24 EST 1997
From: Divorce_Central_Moderator
At: 168.100.204.58

Mike, what's that?
MsgId: jcafe(109)
Date: Wed Mar 19 23:00:47 EST 1997
From: Mike
At: 206.80.8.187

...http://www.vix.com/free/index.html
Thank you Dr. Gersten!!!
MsgId: jcafe(110)
Date: Wed Mar 19 23:01:16 EST 1997
From: Mike
At: 206.80.8.187

FREE= Father's Rights and Equality Exchange.
MsgId: jcafe(111)
Date: Wed Mar 19 23:01:26 EST 1997
From: Divorce_Central_Moderator
At: 168.100.204.58

Dr. Gersten, you may want to respond to Trapper, and then we will release you.
MsgId: jcafe(112)
Date: Wed Mar 19 23:01:55 EST 1997
From: Dr._Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.205.178

Trapper, it is very difficult for me to give you specific advice with such minimal information. I would need to know why the children wanted to leave the mother's home and see the exact nature of the relationship with you and your fiancee before drawing any conclusions. In other words, it would be necessary to speak with your children. I recommend that you see someone locally for further counselling.
MsgId: jcafe(113)
Date: Wed Mar 19 23:02:45 EST 1997
From: Trapper
At: 168.121.224.176

Thank you for being here tonight. :)
MsgId: jcafe(114)
Date: Wed Mar 19 23:02:54 EST 1997
From: Dr._Michelle_Gersten
At: 168.100.205.178

Goodnight. I enjoyed being here. I hope I've been of some help.
MsgId: jcafe(115)
Date: Wed Mar 19 23:03:39 EST 1997
From: Divorce_Central_Moderator
At: 168.100.204.58

Thank you Dr. Gersten, what an incredibly valuable hour. Please look for an archive of this chat on our site. Meanwhile, Dr. Gersten, we appreciate your time and hope to have you back soon. Check in next week, same time, same station, for Divorce Expert Online. Next week's topic: The Art of Mediation.