Posted by Jen on April 23, 1999 at 16:26:00:
In Reply to: Re: My comments posted by Confused Woman on April 23, 1999 at 11:07:10:
Wow, I'm so very happy you responded with such great thought. I am NO therapist...but your mother is going to stop you from any happiness...becasuse she always wants to be #1 in her daughters eyes. Even more, she is not willing to share you with anyone.
Before you even start dating...you need to see a therapist to work through these major issues. Mainly...your Mother's complete control over you life. It's time for you to cut the apron strings...but before you can do that...you need help.
For the ex...have you explained any of this to him. When you see the therapist you may want to ask how you should approach this. It seems to me that you are really not feeling very well for the way you treated him.
Last, another reason you really need to see a therapist is (I imagine) never want to be like your mother. If you don't see someone soon...you will.
Take my advise...my mother was so in control of me...The Prince of England could have come to our house to pick me up and she would find some reason to HATE him. She too, could NOT share me. (I love'd her more than anything, but I had to stop the control.) When she did pass away ten years ago, I was still under her control, even though she was not alive. A therapist really helped me with this and I moved on.
You need to stop the cycle...I am now doing this with my soon to be ex. Stop the manipulation, stop the control and stop letting people USE me.
Good Luck! I have great faith in you!